Wisdom: Understand, Then Be Understood.

Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood

Proverbs 4:7 - Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.

In life we all have to deal with people and an array of ideas and beliefs. Wisdom is essential in how we interact and make choices, or decisions, in dealing with people and the choices they make. Whether they be strangers, acquaintances or even family members, we must deal with the choices  they make. God has given us the virtue of wisdom so we may make the right choices that will direct our lives for the good of ourselves and others. Wisdom is acquired and we need to practice it to be better at it.

Thus the term 'Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood' has been brought forth and is one of the foundations, I think, of wisdom and how we can make it a part of our everyday lives.

Steven R Covey puts it best:

Communication is the most important skill in life. You spend years learning how to read and write, and years learning how to speak. But what about listening? What training have you had that enables you to listen so you really, deeply understand another human being? Probably none, right?

If you're like most people, you probably seek first to be understood; you want to get your point across. And in doing so, you may ignore the other person completely, pretend that you're listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely. So why does this happen? Because most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. You listen to yourself as you prepare in your mind what you are going to say, the questions you are going to ask, etc. You filter everything you hear through your life experiences, your frame of reference. You check what you hear against your autobiography and see how it measures up. And consequently, you decide prematurely what the other person means before he/she finishes communicating.  

There are two sides to every story. Some give a different perspective on what you might think about a certain idea or experience. It may even change your mind about the subject at hand. Others, however may give the same story from a different perspective and will strengthen your perspective. But at least you sought to understand first and did not have a knee-jerk reaction. If you make your mind up without understanding the full story, then you are making a dreadful mistake. I have learned this many times and found that after listening to both sides to the story I can make a better decision or choice.

In some cases not taking this wisdom to mind - to understand first,  then to be understood - can lead to destruction of friendship and even harm family relationships. To keep things right, or to keep the ship from sinking, it is important to 'Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood'.

I do believe that this attribute or virtue is a Christ-like attribute. If you want to be more like the Savior, then listen.

It is the wise thing to do.

Just Like Your Father

Like most people, I tend to cringe when I am told that I am acting like my father. I am sure most women hate it when they hear that they are acting like their mother. What is it about our parents that makes us feel that way? I love my father and consider him a hero. Why wouldn't I want to be like my father or act like him? Why would I cringe when being told that I am acting like my father? I should be proud to be told that I am acting like my father.

In the Book of Mormon, Nephi starts his story out by saying that he is born of goodly parents and that he was taught by his father. I, like Nephi, feel I am born of good parents (1 Nephi 1:1). My father taught me to work hard and be a good man, a good husband and a good father.

I am sure the reason we cringe when we are told we are acting like our father or mother is because of the possible quirks that they may have. When I speak, I use my hands a lot. So does my father. When I want to make a strong statement, I always end it by saying: Period! So does my father.

I wonder if Lehi had any quirks that Nephi emulated that made him "act like his father". I wonder if Laman and Lemuel tried to steer away from doing anything like their father. Hmmmm.

The more I think about it, the more I want to be less reactive when being told I am acting like my father. He is an honorable man. He has worked hard. Has a great family. He has many stories. I should be and am honored to be acting like my father. Quirks aside, I hope to act like him.

Come to think of it, the greatest example of this is our Savior, Jesus Christ. He was 'acting like His father'. Our Heavenly Father is who we should be acting like and emulating. The scriptures tell us to be like Him (Matthew 5:48). Hmmmm. That's the Father I want to be told I am acting like.

So think about it....

The Journey Matters

Tribute to My Parents

In just a few days my parents will be returning, with honor, from a mission they served for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 

Let me tell you something about my parents. They are not perfect, but they taught me about the only perfect person, Jesus Christ. They are not rich, but I have been richly blessed throughout my life by their love and wisdom. They are wonderful examples. They've had ups and downs like most people, but through life's trials they have overcome and have been blessed. 

My parents, after sending several of their children on their own missions, have finally had the chance to serve. I remember my father saying that this was a dream to fulfill a full-time mission. There are a lot of RMs in this family. In the two years that they have been gone to the San Francisco - Oakland California Mission  a lot has happened for them and to us, their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Much is positive - some difficult. But that is life. We truly have been blessed. I can't wait to see them again and welcome them home as they did us when we returned from our missions. I am truly proud of my parents and the sacrifice of love that they made to serve the Lord. 

Question is now what will they do when they return? Lots of possibilities. 

Welcome Home, Mom and Dad, Welcome Home!

Do you know what CADASIL is?

CADASIL means: cerebral autosomal dominant arteriopathy with subcortical infarcts and leukoencephalopathy. It is a rare genetic disorder. My beloved wife, Jennifer, has been diagnosed with this disorder.
After reading and studying, it seems there needs to be more awareness so those that suffer can get the treatment and help needed. Go to http://www.cadasilfoundation.org for more information.

A lot going on. Your support is appreciated.


- Posted by Karl